I love tears...

“Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried, than before--more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle.”
- Charles Dickens

 

 

One day last week, a friend of mine gave me a link to a song that she wanted me to watch.  She said that I would love it.   I did, but I cried for hours during the day as I watched it over and over.

Later that day, Kaleb called to see how my day was going in the late afternoon.  I was nasally and stuffed up sounding and so he knew that I had been crying.  I explained what I had been doing and then I told him to go watch the video of the song.

About 5 minutes  later I got a text message from him that said "That's sweet but WHY do you that to yourself?"

This was a topic that lingered into the evening hours at our house.  He was confused as to why women (well me but he assumed all women) would watch sad, weepy and tearful things knowing that they are going to cry.  It was a mystery to him.

I on the other hand was defending my need to feel these things.  It is not sad, it is just tears about sad things.  Does that make sense to anyone else?

We have shed quite a few tears over the last few months.  Yet still, I will take a good cry any day over a bottled up and emotionless existence.  I am not saying that I am right, but merely for me if I could not shed tears over an old movie, a sweet passage in a book or moving video then I would likely explode into a manic rage.

A few of the things that I subject myself to quite frequently when I need a good cry are:

• The movie UP.  
• The movie The Boy in the Striped Pajamas
• The movie I am Sam
• The movie My Sister's Keeper  ( I don't watch as much any more.)
• Reading the book - Lovely Bones
• Reading the book - The Notebook

I guess now, I will have to add this song and video to the list for obvious reasons.  It expresses so many of the emotions I feel about Kagan.  The aspirations for his future after cancer....  If you haven't seen and want to have a good little tearful episode - here is the video and words.  It is beautiful!
  

Skin by Rascal Flatts

Skin Video

Sara Beth is scared to death
To hear what the doctor will say
She hasn't been well, since the day that she fell
And the bruise it just won't go away

So she sits and she waits with her mother and dad
And flips through an old magazine
Till the nurse with the smile stands at the door
And says, ?Will you please come with me??

Sara Beth is scared to death
?Cause the doctor just told her the news
Between the red cells and white, something's not right
But we're gonna take care of you

Six chances in ten, it won't come back again
With the therapy we're gonna try
It's just been approved, it's the strongest there is
And I think we caught it in time
And Sara Beth closes her eyes

And she dreams she's dancing
Around and around without any cares
And her very first love is holding her close
And a soft wind is blowing her hair

Sara Beth is scared to death
As she sits holding her mom
Cause it would be a mistake for someone to take
A girl with no hair to the prom

For just this morning, right there on her pillow
Was the cruelest of any surprise
And she cried when she gathered it all in her hands
The proof that she couldn't deny
And Sara Beth closes her eyes

And she dreams she's dancing
Around and around without any cares
And her very first love was holding her close
And a soft wind is blowing her hair

It's quarter to seven, that boy's at the door
And her daddy ushers him in
And when he takes off his cap
They all start to cry
Cause this morning where his hair had been
Softly she touches just skin

And they go dancing
Around and around without any cares
And her very first true love is holding her close
And for a moment she isn't scared